The Patriot Way

First of all, I know this has nothing to do with golf, but guess what? This is my blog and I make the rules.

Anyway, let me preface this by saying that I'm a Green Bay Packers fan. My dad is from Wisconsin and he went down to New Orleans to watch Brett Favre and Reggie White win Super Bowl XXXI back in the 90's, so it's not like I had too much choice. That being said, the New England Patriots are, and always have been, my second team.

I grew up in a great era for Boston sports. I've seen all of our teams win championships. Four Super Bowls, three World Series championships, one NBA championship, and one Stanley Cup. Even our pro lacrosse team one a championship in 2012. Boston's sports teams have been good to me, and no team has been better than the Patriots.

I'll be the first to admit, unless they're playing against Green Bay, any time the Pats take the field I'll be cheering for them. That's never been more the case than in Super Bowl XLIX, when I lost it along with every other Patriots fan when Malcolm Butler picked off Russell Wilson to seal the win.

Now that I've said that, here's the deal: Patriots fans are the worst. That's kind of a joke, but also kind of not, and in fairness, it takes a lot to be the worst fanbase in the NFL. It's not enough to root for a bad team. Jacksonville is a bad team, but that doesn't mean their fans are bad. Sure, they can't fill their stadium for home games, but there's a difference between being a team with bad fans and a team with no fans. Cleveland is a bad team, but there's a certain self-deprecating awareness that comes with being a Browns fan.

#DawgPound

The difference between Patriots fans and Cleveland fans is that the Patriots don't suck. In fact, as of this past season, the Patriots are the best team in the league. So how could the Patriots have the worst fans in the NFL? Surely people from a city like Boston, with all of it's championship tradition, would recognize what a great team thy have.

Nope.

The best way to put it is to compare Patriots fans to a very wealthy person. Now, say this wealthy person owns two cars, a Ferrari and a Porsche. Most days, that person will drive their Ferrari, and why wouldn't they? Ferraris are cool. But, every now and then, the Ferrari needs to go to the shop for a tune up or routine service. On those days, this person has to drive their Porsche. Now, a reasonable person would know that they'll have their Ferrari back in a week and they'd know that the Porsche is still way better than the cars that the other people on their block drive, so they'd be okay with driving it every now and then.

Not Pats fans. Pats fans are the Ferrari owners that are annoyed that they can't afford two Ferraris and bitch and moan about how they have to drive their Porsche while the Ferrari is in the shop. It's not even a once and a while thing, this isn't even a once a season thing. Patriots fans will find something to bitch about at least twice a season. Could be a loss to a mediocre team (Patriots are complacent), could be a play that doesn't convert on third down (Belichick won't stop tinkering), could be an interception (Brady's a bum). It doesn't matter. If there is a nit, Pats fans will pick it. If you don't believe me, let the Pats fans convince you themselves.

Remember that Monday night game against Kansas City? You know, the one where this happened:

Well, Patriots fans were none too pleased about this result and took to their keyboards to make their displeasure known in comments sections the internet over. You need look no further than the comment section of the game report on the Boston Globe's website to feel the ire of Johnny Pats Fan.

BELICHICK IS A BUM!!! BRADY IS A BUM!!! BURN IT DOWN!!! BLOW IT UP!!!! AHHHH!!!

First of all, relax. Even if the game has passed Belichick by and you think he should spend more money, between he and Brady, the Patriots can probably find a way to win more games than they lose. But hey, you keep doing you, Satcitananda, the rest of us will be out here not worried that the sky is falling.

Oh, and Brady?

Yeah, totally forgot that Brady died that night. He's dead now. Won't ever play another game. Glad that RLM eulogized him though. I don't think I could imagine a more fitting way for him to go, actually. I bet RLM never thought he'd outlive Brady, but I guess Brady isn't the only one with the heart of a champion.

The worst thing about these comments is that I didn't even have to look that hard for them. These were literally the top two comments on that article and what's worse, I knew they'd be there. The extent of my search for these comments was 1. type "Patriots vs. Kansas City 2014" into Google and 2. click on the first local news outlet search result.

Come on Pats fans, I know you guys are lazy but at least make me work for it.







P.S. Does that first guy know who Malcolm Butler is?