The Patriot Way

First of all, I know this has nothing to do with golf, but guess what? This is my blog and I make the rules.

Anyway, let me preface this by saying that I'm a Green Bay Packers fan. My dad is from Wisconsin and he went down to New Orleans to watch Brett Favre and Reggie White win Super Bowl XXXI back in the 90's, so it's not like I had too much choice. That being said, the New England Patriots are, and always have been, my second team.

I grew up in a great era for Boston sports. I've seen all of our teams win championships. Four Super Bowls, three World Series championships, one NBA championship, and one Stanley Cup. Even our pro lacrosse team one a championship in 2012. Boston's sports teams have been good to me, and no team has been better than the Patriots.

I'll be the first to admit, unless they're playing against Green Bay, any time the Pats take the field I'll be cheering for them. That's never been more the case than in Super Bowl XLIX, when I lost it along with every other Patriots fan when Malcolm Butler picked off Russell Wilson to seal the win.

Now that I've said that, here's the deal: Patriots fans are the worst. That's kind of a joke, but also kind of not, and in fairness, it takes a lot to be the worst fanbase in the NFL. It's not enough to root for a bad team. Jacksonville is a bad team, but that doesn't mean their fans are bad. Sure, they can't fill their stadium for home games, but there's a difference between being a team with bad fans and a team with no fans. Cleveland is a bad team, but there's a certain self-deprecating awareness that comes with being a Browns fan.

#DawgPound

The difference between Patriots fans and Cleveland fans is that the Patriots don't suck. In fact, as of this past season, the Patriots are the best team in the league. So how could the Patriots have the worst fans in the NFL? Surely people from a city like Boston, with all of it's championship tradition, would recognize what a great team thy have.

Nope.

The best way to put it is to compare Patriots fans to a very wealthy person. Now, say this wealthy person owns two cars, a Ferrari and a Porsche. Most days, that person will drive their Ferrari, and why wouldn't they? Ferraris are cool. But, every now and then, the Ferrari needs to go to the shop for a tune up or routine service. On those days, this person has to drive their Porsche. Now, a reasonable person would know that they'll have their Ferrari back in a week and they'd know that the Porsche is still way better than the cars that the other people on their block drive, so they'd be okay with driving it every now and then.

Not Pats fans. Pats fans are the Ferrari owners that are annoyed that they can't afford two Ferraris and bitch and moan about how they have to drive their Porsche while the Ferrari is in the shop. It's not even a once and a while thing, this isn't even a once a season thing. Patriots fans will find something to bitch about at least twice a season. Could be a loss to a mediocre team (Patriots are complacent), could be a play that doesn't convert on third down (Belichick won't stop tinkering), could be an interception (Brady's a bum). It doesn't matter. If there is a nit, Pats fans will pick it. If you don't believe me, let the Pats fans convince you themselves.

Remember that Monday night game against Kansas City? You know, the one where this happened:

Well, Patriots fans were none too pleased about this result and took to their keyboards to make their displeasure known in comments sections the internet over. You need look no further than the comment section of the game report on the Boston Globe's website to feel the ire of Johnny Pats Fan.

BELICHICK IS A BUM!!! BRADY IS A BUM!!! BURN IT DOWN!!! BLOW IT UP!!!! AHHHH!!!

First of all, relax. Even if the game has passed Belichick by and you think he should spend more money, between he and Brady, the Patriots can probably find a way to win more games than they lose. But hey, you keep doing you, Satcitananda, the rest of us will be out here not worried that the sky is falling.

Oh, and Brady?

Yeah, totally forgot that Brady died that night. He's dead now. Won't ever play another game. Glad that RLM eulogized him though. I don't think I could imagine a more fitting way for him to go, actually. I bet RLM never thought he'd outlive Brady, but I guess Brady isn't the only one with the heart of a champion.

The worst thing about these comments is that I didn't even have to look that hard for them. These were literally the top two comments on that article and what's worse, I knew they'd be there. The extent of my search for these comments was 1. type "Patriots vs. Kansas City 2014" into Google and 2. click on the first local news outlet search result.

Come on Pats fans, I know you guys are lazy but at least make me work for it.







P.S. Does that first guy know who Malcolm Butler is?

Tournament Roundup: #TeamRickie

Okay. So. First of all, I haven't done a blog post since the Cadillac Championship at Doral. I'm well aware of that, but I blog at my convenience, not yours. So, we'll just have to learn to live with irregularity and mild disappointment.

Anyway, since the Detroit Tigers have taken the Kansas City Royals to extra innings in a 1-1 game, and I have nothing better to do, I'll see if I can get something done. The main purpose of this is to say that, after all these years, I'm finally #TeamRickie. Rickie Fowler, Oklahoma State Cowboy and orange clothing enthusiast, beat Sergio Garcia and University of Georgia product Kevin Kisner in the first three-hole aggregate playoff in Player's Championship history.

I DID WHAAAAAT?????

Look, I'm gonna be honest, I didn't watch very much of this tournament, which I whole-heartedly regret. From all of the highlights I've seen from the later rounds, it looked like a great tournament. Highlights and lowlights abound. Most notably, and I didn't see this until I googled "Player's Championship 2015 highlights" just now, was Rory McIlroy's "Sloppy Flop" in the 3rd round of the tournament.

As an aside, this is the greatest title I've ever seen over a golf highlight video ever. The fact that the person in charge of the PGA Tour YouTube channel typed the words, "Sloppy Flop," is enough to make The Slice. Note to the PGA Tour, because I'm sure they're reading this, "Sloppy Flop," will always make this blog. Always. 

Outside of Rory's sloppy flop, and Rickie's win, there is one burning question I'd like to address. Kevin Na held a share of the lead heading into the 4th round, which is pretty characteristic for Na. He's quietly putting together a great year, although he hasn't won yet in 2015. But the biggest question is, why is he so pale? 

Kevin Na, sunscreen enthusiast.

Provided he can maintain his current form, Na, like JB Holmes, could be a sneaky candidate for a captain's pick for United States team in the President's Cup later this season. He's had four top-10 finishes this season already, with his best finish coming at the CIMB Classic with a T2 finish in his second start of the season. I don't know what criteria captain Jay Haas is using to choose his team for the upcoming international competition, but Holmes and Na are certainly making their respective cases for inclusion come October. 

Anyway, Rickie Fowler had a great round today. He was five strokes off the lead with eight holes to play, headed for a decent finish and a nice paycheck, and his mother and girlfriend were already checked in at the airport, ready to fly home, when he played the remaining eight holes at six under par, including a birdie-eagle-birdie-birdie finish on holes 15-18. He played the final four holes in eleven strokes, setting a tournament record in the process, setting him up for his first win since winning his first title at the Wells Fargo Championship in 2012. 

So now I'm #TeamRickie, and I'm not ashamed at all. I won't lie, there were times when I couldn't stand Rickie, namely any time he stepped to the tee dressed head to toe in orange, but since he axed the Justin Bieber haircut and tangerine dudes, he's been playing out of his skin, finishing in the top 5 in every major championship in 2014. He's a legit player who deserves better than being the most overrated player on tour as voted in an anonymous survey of PGA Tour players prior to his win at the Player's Championship. Also his girlfriend his an absolute smokeshow, which I won't overtly use as an excuse to post pictures of her, but let's see how the rest of this blog pans out.

STOP THE FIGHT!!!!!

Golfers have the best girlfriends and its not even a competition.

Keep your head down.

Tournament Roundup: Post Early and Ride the Lightning

If we've learned anything this season, it's that there are a lot of ways to win a golf tournament. So far we've seen players steadily dominate tournaments, playoff wins, and after this week, comeback wins. Unfortunately, there are also a lot of ways to lose a golf tournament. JB Holmes knows that better than anyone. Holmes, a nine-year veteran of the tour with 6 professional wins, posted a 62 during his first round, earning a 4 shot lead and a score of 10 under par.

Holmes would extend his lead to 5 strokes on the final day after shooting 73 and 70 in the second and third rounds respectively, and he would need a round of par or better to hold off a rallying Dustin Johnson, who shot back-to-back 69's to finish the tournament at 9 under. Although Holmes held a sizable lead on the final day, the Sunday afternoon meltdown machine had followed Ian Poulter down to Miami and had set it's sights on Holmes, who would go on to shoot a 3 over 75 in the final round.

Next time, big guy.

Certainly a disappointing week for Holmes, but all things considered, 2015 is shaping up to be a great year for the Kentucky native. He's made nearly $2 million this year already in 9 events, which puts him on track to make over $4.5 million this year, assuming he plays the same 24 events he did last season.

If Holmes can keep playing at this level, he could be a dark horse pick for this year's President's Cup team, joining the other two players that rounded out the top three this weekend at Doral, Bubba Watson and Dustin Johnson. Watson had a hell of a start on Sunday, shooting a 32 on the front nine and was in and out of the lead going down the stretch before three bogies on the back nine dropped him back to 3rd for the tournament at -7. Johnson's round was more of a slow-burner, outlasting Holmes by one shot for the title.

Other Highlights

Lots of fireworks from the top three this week. They accounted for six eagles this week, half of which were courtesy of World No. 2 Bubba Watson. As good as that sounds, it doesn't come close to what Johnson and Holmes treated spectators to on Saturday at the par-3 4th hole. Within the space of 24 minutes, Johnson and Holmes, separated by one group, played identical soft drawing seven irons with identical results. Matching aces that would foreshadow their shootout in the final group on the final day.

And then...

Sneaky contender for celly of the year? Just a classic fat guy move with the double fist pumps. Love it. Gonna take a lot to top Jason Bohn's Suck It move at the Waste Management, which I'd post if I weren't too dumb to remember how to embed a vine in this blog. It's right here if that's something you're interested in.

I'd also be remiss if I didn't mention World No. 1 Rory McIlroy doing something on the golf course that every golfer has wanted to do at one time or another. Struggling to get his round going, Rors rinsed his approach on the par-5 8th, then he rinsed his 3 iron too. Anyone who says they can't understand why he would do that is either a liar or has never played golf, and  if I'm honest, they're probably both.

It's okay Rors, we still love you, but you know what you need to do. If you want to get back to late 2014 form, whoever you're dating now needs to go the way of the Woz. End it. End it now.

Keep your head down.

Tournament Roundup: Irish Eyes are Smiling

What a finish at the Honda Classic, huh?

Now, I know that at least 50% of my readership doesn't watch golf (Hi Dad!), so statistically speaking, you probably didn't see it, so here's a brief rundown of how the final round went.

Ian Poulter started his final round at -7, a full three shots ahead of second place and that's as close as he got to winning. After two rinsing two balls on two tee shots in the space of two holes, Poulter quickly fell out of contention. He went on to birdie the two finishing holes, but finishing -5 is hardly the result Poulter was looking for after his first appearance in the final group in as long as anyone can remember.

Classic Poulter.

The best story here, outside of Harrington's first win in seven years, is Daniel Berger's final round. In his first full season on the PGA Tour, Berger shot consecutive 71's in the second and third round and started his final round 9 shots off the lead. At times trailing by as many as 11, Berger shot a final round 64 and held the lead in the clubhouse. With the final group seemingly floundering, he had Dan Hicks waxing poetic about the greatest comeback in PGA Tour history until Harrington bounced back from a double bogey on 17 with a birdie on the 18th to force a playoff.

I'm 90% sure this is him. Kid needs to work on his Google Image presence.

The playoff lasted only two holes, but what it lacked in length, it made up for in drama. The first hole was the par-5 18th, where Harrington made par and Berger narrowly missed his birdie attempt and chance at victory. The pair made their way to the final hole in the Bear Trap, a diabolical three hole stretch known to provide heartbreak and wet golf balls in equal measure at the best of times. Having felt the pressure put on by Berger on the 18th, Harrington teed off first and stuck his tee shot on the par-3 17th within four feet of the cup, giving himself a very good look at birdie. In response, Berger made quite the splash with his tee shot, slicing it into the water about three yards short of the green, and that's all she wrote.

We need more mustaches in sports.

Absolutely love seeing Paddy Harrington get back in the winner's circle. Notching his sixth career win on the PGA tour, the two-time Open champion's win is his first since he captured the PGA championship by two strokes in 2008. It's been a long time coming for Harrington, who has struggled in the intervening years between victories, but full credit to him, he made the shots he needed to make.

Harrington's win also gives me the opportunity to post two of my favorite golf videos of all time.

...and...

The man hits shots better blindfolded than I can on my best days, how can you not love that?

Moving ahead to next week, or this week because its Thursday and my blogs are becoming more delinquent by the week, I've been made aware of a theory that could help my predictions. When James Hahn won at Riviera, he was ranked 297th in the World Golf Rankings. When Harrington won at PGA National, HE was ranked 297th in the world. So who is ranked 297th in the world this week? Steve Webster. A two-time winner on the European Tour, he's never played on the PGA Tour. As far as I can tell, his only claim to fame is that he beat Tiger Woods as the low amateur in the 1995 Open Championship, but I trust the system, so that's my pick.

Your 2015 WGC Cadillac Championship winner.

Keep your head down.

Tournament Roundup: AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am

I know this is late, but I'm the captain of this ship and if you don't like it, you can take a swim.

Honestly, I didn't watch much of this tournament. Just like last year. I mean, I usually watch the first round or two, but that's about it. Pebble Beach is an absolutely beautiful course that produces some really entertaining golf, which doesn't really matter, considering CBS and the Golf Channel are just going to fill your screen with Chris Berman's fat face doing an on-course interview about how he just shanked his ball into the grandstand.

I don't care.

Look, I don't mind the interviews being a part of the broadcast, that's fine, but when Jim Nantz and Nick Faldo are interviewing everyone who walks off the 17th tee, its too much. I honestly couldn't care less what some 3-handicap country singer's golf swing looks like, and unless he has a hot take on Tiger Woods's back problem, he's pretty much useless as far as golf coverage goes. Show me the titans of the game fighting it out on a former U.S. Open Course. I watch golf to see golfers do things that I couldn't dream of doing on courses I know I'll never play.

It just feels like one of the best courses on the PGA Tour hosts one of the worst tournaments in terms of television viewing. When you have a course with holes like this...

...and this...

...and this...

...stop making me look at this.

Other Highlights

Since this blog is already late and I don't feel like going through all of the highlights from the two rounds I didn't see, here they are, presented mostly without comment.

It's good to see Sneds win again. He'd fallen out of the top 50 in the world and needed to get something going quickly, or else risk missing out on the Masters, a tournament he loves. If Sneds can carry some momentum into April, he could be a dark horse challenger for his first green jacket. 

Another thing I noticed was how little a factor the weather was this week. Usually, its about 40 degrees with a coastal fog. Not the case this week, with 70 degree temperature and sunny skies. This allowed players to be aggressive and challenge tight pin positions without worrying about the wind carrying your ball OB.

Looking ahead to next week, I like Bubba Watson defending. With a win, two runner-up finishes, and only one finish outside the top 10, he's already had a convincing season in only 5 starts.  Outside of him, don't sleep on Dustin Johnson. He finished T4 at Pebble and could look to build on that this week. 

Keep your head down.

Tournament Roundup: Farmers Insurance Open

You know what real star power is? Real star power is being the pariah of your sport for three years before coming back to win player of the year. Real star power is being the biggest story to come out of a tournament you didn't even play in. That's right, ladies and gentlemen, Tiger's back.

If, by "back," you actually mean not back, and probably not coming back until the Masters. Tiger made it through eleven holes in his first round at Torrey Pines on Thursday before his back seized up and forced him to withdraw. As you might imagine, this withdrawal has people asking whether or not Tiger is done. Does he have it in him to get healthy in time for Augusta, or will he miss his second consecutive Masters for the first time ever in his professional career?

Can he get healthy in time? Probably, but I don't know if that's the problem. Tiger's golf swing, over time, has been critiqued and tweaked more times than a Presidential address. As he's moved from swing coach to swing coach, Tiger's never ending quest to squeeze more power out of his swing has lead to a swing that is literally tearing apart his already injured back.

If you watch his swing closely, you'll see at the top of the swing, as he's beginning his downswing, his head moves down and back, moving further behind the ball in an attempt to gain leverage to speed up the swing. As an athletic move, it makes sense. The more compressed your body is, the more rotational speed you can generate, which leads to higher club head speed and longer drives. As a concept, it makes perfect sense. Just not for a 38-year-old that's coming off of back surgery. 

Throughout his career, Tiger has continually shaped and revolutionized the game. When he first burst onto the scene in 1996, Tiger's overwhelming power and length off the tee hadn't been seen in professional golf before. Courses were "Tiger-proofed" in attempts to level the playing field for players without the same distance as Tiger. Now, in the third act of his career, it may be time to change the game again. 

When Michael Jordan was heading towards his fourth NBA title with the Chicago Bulls, he was still the best player in the NBA. He could still physically dominate anyone on the court, but he was getting older. So what did he do? He changed his game. He perfected the fade-away jump shot and slowed his game down. Jordan could still drive on anyone he wanted, but he didn't need to. Tiger could stand to learn a few things from his Airness. 

If Tiger can find a way to slow down his game, it could significantly decrease the number of back injuries he experiences as well as preserve his power, thereby lengthening his career. Tiger's 14 majors clearly show he's had enough game to beat anyone on the planet, and I think he still does, but he's going to need to fundamentally change the way he attacks golf courses. 

Definitely less of this.

For a long time, he dominated the game by physically overpowering the course and driving his golf ball further than anyone in the field. Unfortunately, he doesn't have the power to maintain his lead on big hitters like Gary Woodland or Bubba Watson, so he needs find another way to create a competitive edge for himself. Maybe, instead of trying to drive the ball 320 yards off of every tee, look to drive it 280-300 yards down the middle of the fairway. A more conservative play off the tee would also eliminate some of the errant tee shots that we've seen lately because Tiger won't be swinging out of his shoes. Plays like these would leave Tiger with short iron shots into greens that he has more than enough ability to stick close enough to holes to leave himself reasonable putts. Then, when he has an opportunity to stripe one on a short par 5, he'll be able load up and do it because he won't have swung his back out three times in the round already.

Anyway, that's probably enough space dedicated to a player who played about 17% of a golf tournament. Let's move on to things that actually happened over the weekend.

OTHER HIGHLIGHTS

What a finish to this one, huh? A two-hole, four man playoff to decide the tournament? Great stuff. If I'm honest though, I can't say I was surprised by the outcome. I mean, between World No. 4 Jason Day, and three other players whose rankings ranged from 49th in the world to 88th. It was more a question of how long it would take him to win, not if he would win. 

On the first playoff hole, Day was the only player to hit the fairway with his tee shot and went on to birdie the par 5 18th along with 54 hole co-leader JB Holmes, dispatching playoff competitors Scott Stallings and Harris English, who was also tied for the lead after 54 holes. However, when Holmes overshot the green on the par 3 16th on the second playoff hole, he wasn't able to get up and down for par after Day two-putted from 15 feet for the win. 

Day's best highlight of the tournament didn't come on the final day though. For my money, his best shot was on the par 4 17th in the third round. Day holed out for eagle from 146 yards, putting him on track for a great finish in the final round. You can see the highlight here, because the tyrants that run the PGA Tour YouTube account won't take pity on lowly bloggers like us. 

Beyond that, the standout highlights were Chad Campbell's third round ace on the 3rd hole and the PGA Tour's prodigal son Dustin Johnson's eagle in the opening round from 159 yards. Once again, shoutout to the soulless minions at the PGA Tour for denying me content for my blog. Heartless. 

Also, as an aside, Tiger Woods was only 2 over when he withdrew, and the cut for the tournament was -1. When I made my prediction, I assumed Tiger was healthy and would have a couple days extra to prepare A healthy Tiger would have been on track to finish the tournament 2 or 3 under par, making the cut by a couple strokes. So, technically, I'm 1-0 on predictions. Take that.

As far as the ATT Pebble Beach Pro-Am goes, I would expect 2013 winner Jimmy Walker to make another good run at it, but I'd also keep an eye on 2-time winner Dustin Johnson to play big in his second event since returning from his cocaine suspension sabbatical. Johnson finished tied for second in 2014, and after missing the cut at Torrey Pines by one stroke, Johnson will have two extra days of preparation, he'll be fresh to hit the course at Pebble Beach...if he's healthy.

Keep your head down.

Tournament Roundup: WM Phoenix Open

Welcome to the first Tournament Roundup. I'd like to make this a weekly thing, but I'll let you know how I feel about it after I'm done writing.

First off, I know I should have written this blog on Monday, but the Patriots won the Super Bowl this weekend and I'm lazy. For real though, I just rode the bus around the corner. Like one stop. The bus was probably stationary for longer than it was moving. It might not be healthy. But, I know my readers (Hi Dad!) are dying for a rundown on the weekend's action, so here goes.

The Waste Management Phoenix Open happened, which is always a treat. Lot of stories and highlights coming out of this one, and not one of them had anything to do with Tiger Woods, so we're just going to go on with our lives and not stop to reflect on things that may or may not have happened over the weekend. I think what's important here is that we're all safe and in good health and I refuse to let Tiger Woods go because he's the last piece of my childhood left.

Woods, shooting his second round 82 at the WM Phoenix Open

Just kidding, literally all of the stories have to do with Tiger Woods. He was bad. Like really bad. I like to think that I'm something of an authority on the subject of bad golf, and believe me, that was the finest example of bad golf that these eyes have ever seen. Performances like that are what make me proud to be a bogey golfer. I don't want to throw stones in a glass house, but come on Tiger, be better than that.

Tiger's Thursday round wasn't bad. I mean, I'm sure he was disappointed when he went two over after two holes, but finishing +2 with a couple birdies and an eagle isn't really a bad way to start your year. He looked to have righted the ship on Friday when he knocked out three pars in a row, but then the proverbial shit hit the fan on the par 3 fourth. Woods shot a double-bogey 5 on the fourth and, despite two birdies on the front nine, that would set his round into a tailspin with double and triple bogies on the 15th and 16th holes respectively.

"I have no idea what I'm doing."

So what's next for Tiger?

He's committed to play in the Farmers Insurance Open at Torrey Pines next week, which is good for him. He loves Torrey Pines and he's won this event seven times, most recently during his 2013 Player of the Year campaign. 

Vegas has him at 50-1 to win the event, which is probably fair. I don't think anyone is picking Tiger to win the Farmers, but I don't think its outside the realm of possibility for him to play well enough to make the cut. He's comfortable with the course, which may not have been the case in Scottsdale, considering it was his first time playing the course in 15 years. Additionally, this week marks the return to competition of the soul patch-having cocaine enthusiast and professional golfer, Dustin Johnson. 

"Oh! Well, hello. I didn't see you there. Welcome to the cocaine room."

So, hopefully for Tiger, the media will be mostly focused on DJ and his soul patch. Which will leave Tiger enough time to focus on finding his short game, which was the most glaring weakness in his game, outside his penchant for white belts. Tiger's biggest enemy right now is himself and what's between his ears. We know he can still win, he had five wins on tour only two years ago. The question now is whether or not he can put it all together when it counts. Fourteen majors don't win themselves, and provided his back stays healthy, he's probably better equipped, physically, than he has been in his entire career. 

Tiger looking for his short game.

I would look for Tiger to finish in the middle of the pack and probably make the cut by a stroke or two. I'd pick him to finish three to five strokes under, depending on how the course is playing.

OTHER HIGHLIGHTS

Crazy to think that there were other people playing in this tournament that weren't shooting in the 80's on Friday, but there were. 

Brooks Koepka got his first win on the PGA Tour, which was good to see. The former Florida State Seminole opted to go to Europe to start his professional career, eschewing Q-School and the Web.com Tour in the United States. Over the past few years, he's been consistently improving, winning four events on the European Challenge Tour before graduating to the full European Tour and claiming his first big tour victory in November at the Turkish Airlines Open. 

Arizona State's Jon Rahm, an amateur player from Spain finished at -12, good enough for a tie for fifth. How awesome is it to be that kid right now? You already go to Arizona State, where you bump into an attractive girl every time you turn around. Rahm is a varsity athlete at a golf powerhouse, who was in contention in the final round on national television. Plus, he has a Spanish accent? Has he ever left a party alone? Does he even know what that feels like? Nope. He's Jon Rahm.

Francesco Molinari had a good day on Friday, sinking an ace in the stadium on the 16th hole. It doesn't change the fact that he and his brother, Edoardo, could easily be two henchmen for a mob boss in a buddy cop movie. 

Look me in the eyes and tell me that isn't true. You can't.

By far my favorite moment, though, was Jason Bohn at the 16th. I don't know if I love this because it's on the 16th hole and everything that happens there is great, or if its because I have a complex where I want every sport to be more like pro wrestling. Either way, loved Bohn going Degeneration X in everyone's face. Just laying it out there with no regard for human life. Absolutely savage.

This is exactly what golf needs to drive up interest. More bad guys. Don't get me wrong, I love players like Adam Scott and Martin Kaymer, with their picture-perfect swings, but they're not really that entertaining. The closest thing golf has ever had to a real bad guy was Tiger in his prime, back when he was legitimately intimidating on the golf course. Back then, if you fell down, Tiger was going to step on your back if it meant winning a tournament. But even Tiger is getting soft. What we need is another John Daly.



Keep your head down.

(Golf) Ball is Life.

Yesterday, the northeastern United States was supposed to get hit by one of the worst blizzards of all time. There was supposed to be snowdrifts eight feet tall (I don't really know if that's true, but I'm too lazy to fact check and #Snowmageddon was a thing) and yetis roaming the street (again, #Snowmageddon). Needless to say, out of deference to the local yeti population, who apparently don't get out much, UMass Amherst kindly decided to close campus for the day. 

Now, there are a lot of things you might associate with a snow day. If you're a child it might be building snowmen and having snowball fights, or if you're from Alaska, it might be crippling seasonal depression. Regardless of who you are or where you're from, golf is usually not something you would associate with a snow day. Not the case in our apartment. No, in A309, the golf season never ends. For us, the Golf Channel has become constant ambient noise in our living room the way SportsCenter has in living rooms across America. 

Over the last few days, however, we've taken it up a notch. We've transcended the Golf Channel. It started as a bet between my roommate and I while we were sitting around one night watching a Knicks game. I don't know if you've ever had to watch a Knicks game, but its pretty rough going for pretty much the whole game, especially when you're a Knicks fan like my roommate. So, I bet my roommate that I could chip a ping pong ball into the empty trashcan that's sitting in the corner of our living room before he could. Using the spare set of clubs that belong to a mutual friend and that live in our apartment for some reason, we traded shots back and forth until one of us made it. From there, it snowballed, and pretty soon we were hitting chips, pitches, and puts from every conceivable angle and in every direction our apartment would allow. 

At one point, I was using a seven iron to hit a low fade down a fifteen yard hallway, which is no more than four and a half feet wide, into a moderately-sized cardboard box. Some people might call that an addiction, which it is, but golf is my crack and some days I need that fix. Ultimately, the golf season never ends, it just slows down for a bit while we let winter play through.

Keep your head down. 

Is the IOC OB?

In October of 2009, the International Golf Federation lobbied to have golf added to the 2016 and 2020 Olympic Summer Games. With visions of players winning Olympic glory for their home nations, the International Olympic Committee agreed and voted to add golf to the Summer Games for the first time since 1904. In 2016, competitors will face off on a Gil Hanse-designed course in Rio and I couldn't be more excited.

Excited, that is, until I found out the format of the competition. Two fields of sixty competitors, male and female, will compete for the gold, silver, and bronze medals in two seventy-two hole stroke play tournaments. In other words, it'll be exactly the same as all of the other tournaments you've probably seen on television, except it'll be on at weird times and I'm almost certain I'll miss it. See, the problem here isn't necessarily about the format of the competition, its a perfectly fine way to determine the top three players at the competition. The problem I have with it is that it feels as though the IOC and, to some extent, the IGF missed a huge opportunity.

The Olympics are kind of magic in a way. They have a way of getting people to care about sports that they didn't even know existed. For example, I know nothing about curling. Like actually, ask me a question about curling, I don't know the answer. But I do know that the Norwegians are my favorite.

BOOM. Bloodbath on ice. Don't even bother showing up.

What I'm trying to say is that, if the IGF want to get more people excited about golf, they should make the Olympic golf competition as intense as possible. The best way to do this? Probably not churning out the same product that's already available every other week of the year. This is not to mention the fact that tour pros will have to decide whether or not they even want to go, as the Olympics will fall right in the fat part of the PGA Tour season. So what is the Olympic golf lacking that it so desperately needs?

This.

The Olympic golf needs a taste of Ryder Cup intensity. Every two years, the United States and Europe face off for a matchplay-style event to determine who holds the Ryder Cup trophy, and every time the two teams meet, the golf is fantastic. The IOC had a real opportunity here to not only showcase some of the best golfers in the world, but also some of the young talents that are up and coming in the world of golf. This could have easily become the World Cup of golf. Imagine a matchplay style tournament between eight teams of ten players, ranked through qualifiers. It would finally put the nations relegated to the President's Cup, golf's second-tier international competition, into direct competition with European teams. The IOC could even require that five players on each team be amateurs or under the age of 25 in order to promote the future of golf.

To be fair, competitions like this do exist, but they deserve a grander stage. The ISPS Handa World Cup of Golf doesn't exactly have the same ring as The 2016 Olympic Summer Games, does it? In fact it's so bland, it's logo could double as a corporate logo for vanilla ice cream. It looks like the designer did one draft and was just like "yeah, that's probably fine," and never came back to it.

I don't mean to hate on the ISPS Handa either, I'm sure its a fine display of international golf that I would enjoy immensely, if it weren't on at three in the morning. It just seems like the Olympic Committee and the IGF had a great opportunity to expand the global reach of the sport, but decided to do what was safe and easy by simply following the formula that they've been employing since the last time golf was in the olympics...110 years ago.

Keep your head down. 

It Sure Beats Working.

Golf is a funny game. There is nothing in this world that compares to the feeling of a pure iron shot or a fairway-splitting drive, on the other hand, it may be impossible to be as frustrated as you are when you skull a ball and it dribbles three yards short of the ladies' tee. It's a game that will put you on the top of the world one minute and bring you crashing through the floor the next. Being good at golf is not a question of having a perfect swing, although it does help, but a question of having the proper mindset.

I went down to Miami recently to help my grandmother move into a new apartment. Admittedly, this makes me sound like a much better grandson than I actually am. In reality, it was about five degrees at home in Massachusetts and my payment for helping out with the move was all-you-can-play golf at the local nine hole track in Coral Gables, so its not as though I needed to be asked twice.

Now, as the title of this blog suggests, I'm not a great golfer, and this trip was no different. In fact, during one round, I stopped keeping score after the first hole because I figured it would probably be better for my health. I would say, on average, I spent more time on neighboring fairways than on the fairways I was supposed to be playing. During that two-hour session of mishits and poor putting, I didn't hit a single shot that I was proud of.

As any golfer will tell you, there's nothing more demoralizing than a round that's bad from the first tee to the last green. That day was no different, and by the fifth hole, I'd already made my decision to go round again, so I immediately went into the clubhouse upon finishing to pay for my emergency nine. However, when I told the proshop worker about my round, he said not to worry about paying and to just go tee off. Now, it wasn't a particularly busy day and he may have just recognized me from earlier, but some part of me thinks that he knew I needed the extra nine to keep me from quitting golf (again). So I thanked him and off I went.

I won't sit here and tell you I went off and beat the course record on that nine, but I did take a minute to rest and regroup before I teed off, and it made a world of difference. I probably only shot about eight or nine over par, which is an average round for me, but playing like that and even sinking a three-foot birdie putt after the nine-hole debacle I'd played that morning did me a world of good.

My problem, if you want to call it that, is that every time I tee up the ball, I expect to hit it straight. I don't know why, because if past experiences have taught me anything, the ball is going to take a hard right turn about halfway down the fairway. I think I watch more golf on TV than is good for me, which might be why every time I look down a fairway or stand over an approach shot, like an alzheimer's patient, I think, "yeah, I can play a thirty yard cut around these trees."

My point here is this, during that second round, I played better because I wasn't thinking about the bad shots I'd hit that morning. I focused on the shot I was playing and the shots I'd hoped would come after. It does not pay to have a long memory in a game like golf. If you're not careful, bad shots tend to pile up, which leads to poor scoring. The method that I have found to work the best is not to think positively or negatively. The best method is not to think at all. If my swing feels good before I hit the ball, I hit the ball. I don't think about the million things that could go wrong with my swing, just feel the shot and hit the shot. No thoughts, just action.

Dr. Kapil Gupta recently wrote an article for GolfWRX that sums up this idea better than I ever could. It's a little dense, but an excellent read for anyone who overthinks and overanalyzes every shot. Remember, even a bad day on the golf course beats your best day at work.

Keep your head down.

No Fun Allowed

For an organization that presides over the top competitive level of a sport already in decline, the PGA Tour sure seems hellbent on sucking all of the fun out of the game. Particularly, and most notably, at the upcoming Waste Management Phoenix Open in Arizona. The annual tournament, held at TPC Scottsdale, is one of the most highly anticipated, non-major tournament on the PGA Tour schedule.

Why?

Because of this:

Watch a few minutes of that. Does that look like any golf tournament you've ever seen?

Each year, a stadium is erected around the entire 16th hole at TPC Scottsdale. Year in and year out, the 162-yard par-3 produces some of the best highlights of the season. The raucous crowd erupts as soon as a player tees off and it snowballs from there. With the possible exception of Ryder Cup crowds, no tournament produces more enthusiastic spectators or greater player interaction. So why is the PGA Tour intent on putting a lid on one of the only things that makes it more accessible to young fans?

First, they banned the caddy races. If you've never seen the caddy races, allow me to enlighten you. As soon as the players had played their tee shots, the caddies would take off in a race to the green. There wasn't really a reason for it, but it added to the spectacle of the 16th hole.

But, in 2013, the PGA Tour decided they would have no more of these shenanigans and promptly put an end to the caddy races. Citing concerns over the safety of the caddies (ridiculous), they banned caddies from racing from tee to green. In doing so, they put the kibosh on one of the most entertaining, non golf-related events ever to take place on a golf course.

Now, they've banned another 16th hole activity that fans have loved in the past. As has become tradition, players like Bubba Watson and Rickie Fowler have enjoyed interacting with fans by throwing goodies provided by sponsors like Oakley and Puma into the crowd as souvenirs. Once again citing concerns over fan safety, the PGA Tour has decided to put an end to it by prohibiting players from, "...throwing, kicking or otherwise propelling items into the crowd at the 16th hole," and the players are not happy about it.

(Photo Credit to Alex Miceli on Twitter)

Far be it from me to tell PGA Commissioner Tim Finchem how to do his job, I can't even get my driver to do it's job, but it seems like the PGA Tour is trying to curtail one of the best and only things they have to connect with casual golf fans. The stadium hole was built for precisely this reason. It's designed to get more fans closer to the hole and more involved with the game. Outside of real harm being done by a flying pair of sunglasses, I can't see any logical reason to ban this kind of thing, but maybe thats just me.

Keep your head down.

Day One

I don’t really have anything planned out to write today, not that it matters, since no one will read it, so I’m just going to start writing and hope that, by the time I’ve typed about five hundred words, I’ll have produced something with some kind of structure. See what I did there? I wrote the words “five hundred” instead of using the numerical representation of the number. I just snuck two more words into this entry and you didn’t even notice. Old hockey trick. Don’t worry, you’ll catch up. 

So I went to the driving range this morning, which was nice. It was about twenty degrees and snowing when I got there, which wasn't. In my defense though, this is New England, and my terrible short game isn't going to fix itself. For that matter, no part of my golf game is going to fix itself, and it's my responsibility to keep it from getting any worse, so twenty degree range days it is. 

The good thing about days like today is that, when I get there early, I get the range basically to myself, which gives me a solid twenty or thirty minutes before the range hardos show up. Range hardos are just the worst kind of people. Ever had someone walk up to you and tell you everything you're doing wrong in your golf swing? Range hardo. You know the guy who chews up half of the grass section because he's taking mile-long divots on every shot? Range hardo. Now, it's one thing if the guys are good golfers. I'll begrudgingly respect someone who can routinely drive a ball three hundred yards down the middle or can get up and down out of any lie, I'll admit to that. The worst of the worst are the guys who walk around like they're the cock of the walk, but can't hit the ball past the hundred yard marker because their swing looks more like a coordinated spasm than any recognizable athletic maneuver.  And you know that guy is going to spend ten minutes watching your swing from two bays over and decides he has just the drill to straighten out the slice you're struggling with. 

Anyway, that's enough rambling for today. I'm gonna go see how many three-foot putts I can sink in a row before I ultimately quit golf. Again. 

Keep your head down.